Memorable Passage

“Memory is a tenuous thing. . . .
flickering glimpses, blue
and white, like ancient,
decomposing 16mm film.
Happiness escapes
me there, where faces
are vague and yesterday
seems to come tied
up in ribbons of pain.” 

-Ellen Hopkins, Impulse

 

I’ve always enjoyed Ellen Hopkins’s writing and Impulse is my favorite book. The first time I read this passage, it made me think a lot about the past. Nostalgia has always been one of my biggest enemies because life changes so much and sometimes I wish that things could go back to how they used to be. Although Impulse has been one of the saddest books I have ever read, I like how Hopkins has always been able to write things that we don’t usually say although we may think them at times. When she talks about the vague faces, it makes me think about all the people I have encountered in my life and what they have taught me. The decomposing film makes me think about how pictures are witnesses to the things we have been a part of and the events that led us to where we are today. Thinking about decomposing film is like thinking about memories that we cherish fading away and we can’t do anything about it because everything has an end and one day none of us will matter anymore even if we did something amazing with our lives. When Hopkins writes about the flickering glimpses, it reminds me of everyone and how we try to stay even though we are fading away. I guess that doesn’t make sense but it made sense in my head. I just really like how she can take the things we feel and put them onto paper. Life will never be what we expect it to be but I guess we just have to take things as they come and roll with it.