Nothing

I sit alone and look at the blank white walls in my room. I spend a lot of time there and I’m not exactly sure if I’m just staring at the walls or if I’m in some kind of deep thought. I’ve always associated purity and innocence with this color, but lately, it seems as though it means something different to me. Innocence turns into loneliness and the comfort that it used to bring now turns into desolation. I don’t know if it’s a good thing that I can stare at a wall for a very long time but sometimes it seems like there is nothing else to do. My surroundings fade into the background and for a while, it seems as though all I have is my mind. Nothing can distract me. 

But then the sun starts to set, explosions of orange engulf the sky as though the sun is screaming for one last minute before it has to set. My blank thoughts turn into expressions of awe and I remember that the day is almost over. The light reflects off of my mirror and it projects the color of the sunset onto my walls. They aren’t blank anymore. They are full of life and I realize that just because something is blank, doesn’t mean that it doesn’t amount to anything. 

Then I go outside and all I see around me is the red that the sky has become. First it was orange, and as it got more intense, it got brighter and turned red. But this time, it doesn’t make me think of evil or jealousy like it usually does. It reminds me of the raspberries that I ate by the creek last summer. The roses that were placed on friend’s grave when she passed on. But most importantly, it reminded me of the Singapore flag and the life that I came from. Although I’m in a much better place now, I will always remember where I came from and that my purpose in life is to not let it pass me by while I stare at walls.