I have heard over and over again that someone, somewhere in
the world tries to commit suicide every 45 seconds. As we’re waiting for the
final school bell of the day, someone could have taken their life. I don’t
think that our society does enough to raise awareness about mental illness. I
can’t imagine the amount of self-loathing someone has to have before they start
to think about taking their own life. And I don’t want to imagine the state of
mind that they are in when they do decide to take matters into their own hands
and use a permanent solution to solve a temporary problem. The officer in this
picture was probably just doing his job when he came across this obviously
distraught man that was on the verge of ending his life. I think that he is
more of a hero than the ones that we read about in comic books because no one
ever talks about internal struggles in stories. No one writes comics about an
average person fighting a battle that can’t be explained with words. I’ve also
seen pictures of these two men reunited eight years later. Kevin Berthia (the
man on the bridge) is now happily married and has a few children of his own. I’m
glad that the officer was there that day to talk Kevin out of suicide because
now he has the ability to look back on life and be proud of himself because he
made it through the worst and things got better even though they didn’t seem
like they ever would.
Wednesday, April 15, 2015
Tuesday, April 14, 2015
Photo Hunt
Someone who makes me laugh/smile
"What does paper drink to get drunk?...Scotch..tape."-Garrick
I think Garrick is too good for this world and he deserves all the gummy worms that he desires.
#hefollowsmeontwitter
Someone who has taught me something or helped me somehow
Rowan (the girl in front) has been one of the people has been in my life the longest and she's definitely seen me through hell and back
#StopRowan2k15
A book
I guess I forgot that we were supposed to take a picture of one book..so I took a picture of a bunch of books.
#BtwEllenHopkinsisinSpringfield2nite
Something Square
I enjoy the multi-cultural light switches in the girls' bathroom. Its nice to have something other than matching switches..or maybe they couldn't find one to match.
#diversity
Something Round
Waterfalls are pretty cool and all. They're calming and whatnot. They sound like the ocean..you know..the one NOT in Missouri.
#salted
An Interesting Angle
I climbed on top on the bathroom stall to take this picture and Emily was laughing at me the entire time. I'm glad no one was in the stalls next to me.
#peepingtom
Something Handwritten
I had a friend write "I love you" in a ton of different languages for me in my journal and I miss her very much.
#Itsbeenawhile
Something from Nature
How ironic, a picture of a flower..because that's all that nature has to offer..right? There was another flower that I didn't take a picture of because it was dead. It's a metaphor, obviously.
#basic
Something that looks like a face but isn't really
I'm kinda glad that this isn't a real face because I don't know how I would feel about coming into orchestra everyday and seeing an actual face pressed up against the glass.
#tybg
Something a little kid might notice or find interesting
I can almost hear an annoying little kid freaking out over the fact that these index cards aren't while. And I can almost hear myself rolling my eyes.
#swerve
Something that makes me nostalgic/brings back memories
I have to say that this was one of the best weekends of my life and I will never forget the weird adventures we had.
#Kindawishtheyweregraduatingwithme
Something that irritates me
I'm not going to say that all boys are irritating..but most of them are. I mean I guess they're good in a way, but they are mostly just gross.
#bye
Something that is beautiful
Okay so I know this is a picture of my violin but still..I think that musical instruments are the most beautiful things ever because they hold so much potential and I unlock more and more of it everyday.
#Couldveputapictureofmyguitaraswell
Something that will always remind you of being at KHS
I think that every time I see a picture of a native American, I'll think about KHS. Although I haven't really spent much time here..and I'm kinda glad to be leaving soon.
#notsorry
Thursday, April 9, 2015
101 Things
1.
I was born on February 28th 1997
2.
I was born in Singapore, where I lived until I
was 9..ish.
3.
My mom’s side of the family consists of seven
aunts and only one uncle.
4.
I have two aunts that are nuns, but I guess that
religion never really clicked for me.
5.
My dad has been in the Singapore Navy for more
than 20 years.
6.
My mom was in the Singapore Army when she was
younger. Now, she’s a massage therapist.
7.
My stepdad is U.S Navy Veteran.
8.
When he was stationed in Singapore with the
Navy, he met my mom.
9.
My parents are divorced. It doesn’t really
matter to me.
10.
I’ve lived in Missouri for about two years.
11.
Before I lived in Missouri, I lived in Florida.
12.
I lived in Florida for about six years.
13.
When I was moving to the U.S, my mom told me
that we were going on vacation.
14.
I have come to the conclusion that this isn’t a
vacation anymore.
15.
Living in Florida wasn’t as fun as everyone
thinks it is.
16.
I’ve been to Disney and Universal too many
times.
17.
I actually hate bananas and I haven’t eaten one
in 8 years.
18.
Bananas smell like rotting garbage to me.
19.
I’m not white..unlike about 98% of Springfield.
20.
I like to believe that I’m musically inclined.
21.
I play violin (10 years)
22.
I also play guitar (6 years)
23.
I have a half-sister and shes really annoying
24.
Emily’s laugh is my favorite thing.
25.
Apparently I say “wowza” a lot.
26.
I like to write songs and then get frustrated
and burn them.
27.
I have three dogs and sometimes I have to remind
myself that they are dogs and not children.
28.
I am not a U.S citizen but I do have a green
card.
29.
I hate when people refer to immigrants as
“aliens”
30.
Leopard print makes me want to die.
31.
I’m probably addicted to hot chocolate.
32.
I’m going into the Navy this summer, so that
should be fun.
33.
I have a friend named Brandon.
34.
I was raised Catholic..I guess that didn’t work
out.
35.
One time, there was a spider on my foot and I
screamed and kicked the wall and then screamed again.
36.
Garrick is my best friend.
37.
I’ve traveled to a lot of different countries.
38.
I had my bags searched by police when I flew to
Singapore by myself and I cried.
39.
I didn’t even have anything illegal.
40.
I’ve rode elephants in Thailand.
41.
I have my nose and ears pierced.
42.
I really hate Vera Bradley.
43.
Thinking about death makes me very anxious.
44.
I’d rather stab myself than drink orange juice.
45.
The first time I shot a gun, I was shaking so bad
that I didn’t even hit the target.
46.
I have an incredible love for the Indian
culture.
47.
I drink a lot of green tea and black coffee.
48.
I plan to buzz my head after graduation and I’m
really excited to do it.
49.
Garrick follows me on twitter and I feel
incredible honored.
50.
Most of the time, I feel like everyone hates me
(lol).
51.
I know every word to the Phantom of the
Opera…including the spoken parts.
52.
Samuel Barber’s Adagio of Strings makes me cry.
53.
I am deeply fascinated with psychology.
54.
When I go into the Navy, I’ll ship out as a
Personnel Specialist, but I eventually want to become a Combat Medic.
55.
17 was the worst year of my life. I’m glad I got
out of it alive.
56.
Sometimes I forget that not everyone can read
sheet music.
57.
I hate the cold and it makes it 10 times harder
for me to get out of bed…so I don’t.
58.
I wish that I could wink, but I’ve never been
able to wink.
59.
When I mess up, I say “oops” or “oh well” and
then I pretend like it doesn’t bother me but it does.
60.
I’m a lowkey perfectionist.
61.
I get really angry when I make mistakes.
62.
I’m actually really good at push-ups…surprisingly.
63.
I tend to give up easily when I get in an
argument, even if I’m right.
64.
My lips are chapped all year round and I never
care to fix it.
65.
My lips bleed at least 3 times a day.
66.
I hate the circus (because animal cruelty).
67.
My favorite author is Ellen Hopkins (How ironic)
68.
I have a really bad habit of speeding when I
drive.
69.
The mall makes me nervous
70.
I have a small obsession for John Mayer’s voice,
although I don’t like to admit it.
71.
I’m lonely
72.
My nose starts to bleed after a while when I’m
on an airplane for a long time.
73.
I don’t get angry very easily.
74.
I don’t know if I’m chill and laid-back or just
really lazy.
75.
It is taking me forever to get through this
list.
76.
I’m a very boring person and I have no one else
to blame except myself.
77.
I journal at least 2 to 3 times a day, every day.
78.
I tend to act like things don’t bother me and
then they usually do.
79.
I’m a completely different person when I’m alone
80.
I like being alone, but I don’t like being
lonely.
81.
My mom yells at me for humming in the house all
the time.
82.
I don’t usually realize that I’m doing it
83.
I care a lot about my friends..probably a lot more
than I should
84.
Emily says that I have long eyelashes.
85.
My eyelashes don’t curl
86.
I look like 12 year old boy.
87.
I have four full journals and I can’t decide if
I want to burn them or keep them forever.
88.
I’d rather be on the computer instead of
watching TV.
89.
Two of my friends died in 2012.
90.
I played my violin at their funeral.
91.
My grandparents were forced to get married
during the Japanese occupation of Singapore in World War 2.
92.
I come from a long line of alcoholics :--)
93.
I’m disappointed most of the time, but mostly in
myself.
94.
I’ve spent the night in a playground, in
Singapore.
95.
I speak Malay although not a lot of people know
that it’s a language
96.
I’ve bottle fed a tiger cub in Thailand.
97.
I would really love to go to Africa one day.
98.
Prozac Nation is one of my favorite movies.
99.
I have conversations with my dogs.
100. It really bothers me that there are 190 calories in two tablespoons of peanut butter.
101. I don't eat peanut butter.
Wednesday, April 8, 2015
Lyrics Shuffle
They'll tell you I'm insane.
And I just wanna tell you I am.
So honey now
You're the color of my blood.
Taken away to the dark side.
Maybe just the touch of a hand.
And I'm thinking 'bout how people fall in love in mysterious ways.
Or with a nasty scar.
Will your eyes still smile from your cheeks?
You're gonna sing the words wrong.
Thursday, April 2, 2015
Music Lyrics
"I should go now quietly
For my bones
have found a place
To lie down
and sleep
Where all my
layers can become reeds
All my limbs
can become trees
All my
children can become me
What a mess I
leave
To
follow."- Smother//Daughter
"Nobody knows everything.
We know this to be true.
Everything is difficult
Except what's in front of you
But it's
complicated even under your nose
Bullshit math
equations
And your highs
and your lows
And your manic
depression
It comes and it
goes
Your
parasympathetic nervous system reacts
And you're in
fight-or-flight mode" -People 2: The Reckoning//Andrew Jackson Jihad
"And I can feel your pain
Deep in my
bones" -Sleeper 1972//Manchester Orchestra
"Stop the car.
Let me out.
I am tired an broken down
But I've decided that I want to live.
Stop the car.
Let me out.
I might be tired and broken down but
I'm regretting taking all the poison
On purpose.
I want to live.
With purpose." Life Isn't Over If
You Want To Live// Cat Food
Teachers + Music
When I asked Mrs. Honeycutt and Mrs.Corbett what kind of music they disliked or refused to listen to, Mrs. Honeycutt said that she hated listening to country and Mrs.Corbett said that she really disliked listening to Techno. I really hate Rap because I feel like they rap about irrelevant things. We have so muh more to worry about that how much we drank in a club.
When I asked them what kind of of music reminded them of their childhood, Mrs Honeycutt said that La Bouche was the theme song of her childhood while Mrs Corbett said that The Steve Miller Band reminded her of her childhood. For me, I remember listening to a lot of Elvis's songs when I was younger because he was my dad's favorite artist.
I found it kind of interesting how the two teachers had the complete opposite taste in music but I think that's pretty cool because I like diversity in music.
When I asked them what kind of of music reminded them of their childhood, Mrs Honeycutt said that La Bouche was the theme song of her childhood while Mrs Corbett said that The Steve Miller Band reminded her of her childhood. For me, I remember listening to a lot of Elvis's songs when I was younger because he was my dad's favorite artist.
I found it kind of interesting how the two teachers had the complete opposite taste in music but I think that's pretty cool because I like diversity in music.
Music Questions
I think that I gravitate towards certain kinds of music
because music has the ability to either change my mood, or amplify my mood. Sometimes
when I’m upset, I find that listening to sad music always makes me feel worse even
though I try to justify it by telling myself that relating to the lyrics in the
song will help me feel better. I know that changing the kind of music that I
listen to when I’m sad always helps me feel better eventually but in the
beginning, it always seems annoying to me although I know that after a while,
everything will be a lot better. I think I dislike certain types of music
because they seem discriminatory or they sing about things that don’t matter. I've
always been the kind of person that listens to music that I can relate to and
not being able to relate to music has always turned me away from that style or
artist. Once I dislike an artist, I end up hating all of their songs even if they
completely change everything about their music. I do think that my parents have
an influence on the kind of music I listen to because I still go through phases
where I listen to Frank Sinatra or Elvis. My parents have always listened to
older music (I guess that’s because they are older than me). When it comes to
my friends, I have friends that don’t listen to the same music as me at all,
and then I have friends who listen to the same exact kind of music I listen to
and then I also have friends who are somewhere in the middle. I like having a mixture of friends and their
music taste because I can always discover new music through them even if I end
up not liking it. I think that discovering new music and falling in love with
an album or an artist is one of the best feelings in the world. Without music,
my life would have no purpose (how cliché). I know for a fact that music is the
most important thing to me because it has always found the words when I seemed
to have forgotten what to say. My life without music is something that I never
want to think about because I don’t think I would ever want to be alive to experience
that.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)











